You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
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I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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