Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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