They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
