remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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