who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
