my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
