why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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