Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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