first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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