It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
