The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
