I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
