you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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