you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
