i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
