I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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