So drunk its hurt
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
