you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Randomize