She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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