even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
