Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think my moral compass just broke
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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