Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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