I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
