I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
