I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They took my balls.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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