she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
