i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
