I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
