Rock
Scissors
Fuck
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
