She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
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I didn't notice because vodka
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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