My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
