The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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