..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
