How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
