I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
