This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
