if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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