you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And then he peed in my hair
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