No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
