i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize