i need an iv and a liver transplant
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
