Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
