Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
