Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
