ya dads aren't the best wingmen
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
