i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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