I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
