yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So vagazzling was a success
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
