Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
