why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
