This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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