We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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