she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
