I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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