Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
