i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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