I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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