I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
