we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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